Being a January baby, in addition to a fresh start and a list of resolutions that I’m probably never going to follow through on, the new year brings a new age. My experience of twenty one wasn’t quite what I bargained for and has proved to be in stark contrast to my expectations. It faced me with the harsh reality that I’m not going to have life figured out for quite some time yet. And you know what, that’s actually okay! I’ve come to realise that I’m a little more savvy with a milestone year under my belt. Here is what being twenty one has taught me…
o1 – I don’t know everything
Don’t tell my mum I said that… Despite constantly trying to prove to the world that me and only me knows what’s best, more often than not it’s still okay to rely on your loved ones for help. Sometimes it’s even necessary.
02 – I won’t get there overnight
I always had it in my head that by 21, I’d be living it up in Manhattan with my dream job and the world at my feet, when in reality, I still live in my family home with a job that I only kind of like. It’s going to take a lot of time and even more hard work to land that dream job – whatever that even is! But I’ve got plenty of time to do it.
03 – I still need time
The worst thing about being in the ‘twenties’ bracket is that I don’t yet feel like a fully formed adult. Or a fully formed human for that matter! There’s still loads of stuff that I need to figure out like how to fold my clothes without them creasing before I can consider myself an adult.
04 – It takes work.
As you get older and don’t see your friends in the playground every day, it takes a lot of effort on both sides to maintain friendships. As our lives become increasingly busier, we have to actively make time for those we care about and in the end, that extra effort will be more than worth it.
05 – Honey life is just a classroom
I couldn’t reflect on life without a Taylor Swift quote, come on! Seriously though, people are going to talk about you whether you’re doing good or bad. If you get caught up in what other people think, you’ll never win.
06 – My mum is an actual person
I know, it’s crazy! t’s almost like she had a life before I was born!… Actually, that is the case and for the most part, she’s been through all the crappy stuff that i’m struggling with. That alone apart from the fact she knows me better than anyone leaves her more than qualified to give me advice.
07 – We all have feelings
Cut people some slack, we’re all on the same boat. We all struggle in some way or another and we we’re all somebody’s children. Be kind to people, it doesn’t cost anything.
08 – Why so serious?
Cut yourself some slack. If someone was standing next to you saying all the things you say to yourself in your head, would you put up with it? Of course not, you’d tell them to do one! Be kind to yourself, because there are plenty of other people who will be mean to you.
09 – I’m not always right
Despite my convincing arguing skills, sometimes I just have to wave the white flag and admit defeat. I don’t know everything there is to know about life and why would I want to? Life would just be boring!
10 – More importantly apologise when you’re wrong
And be sincere about it.
11 – Jealousy is rife
It’s a horrible thing, yet a natural feeling. It’s not like we want to be jealous of other people, right? Nonetheless, we all go through it and whether you think yourself worthy or not, other people will be jealous of you, it may even lead them to do nasty things. Don’t let it get you down, as soon as you recognise jealousy for what it is, it becomes a lot easier to pity the person and let go of any anger.
12 – Hard work pays off
If you really want something, then you’re gonna have to work for it, no one is in the business of giving handouts for free I’m afraid… Unless you win the lottery, then you’re just a lucky bugger and you should enjoy every minute! If you really put your all into something, it will pay off, albeit not over night.
13 – Never sell yourself short
If you say something often enough, people will believe it. Always sell the best version of you.
14 – Be your own champion
Some people are just plain old bullies. It’s just a fact, but that doesn’t mean that you have to stand for it. I’m all for making avoiding confrontation when possible but my no manner does that mean that you have to be a doormat. Know yourself, know your limits and stand by them.
15 – I’m worth it
Even though I’m not in a L’oreal advert, I’m still worthy. I am worthy of people’s time and love and so are we all! This is one that I still really struggle with and although I don’t feel like it nearly enough, it’s true. Someone loves you, remember that!
16 – I’m a work in progress
My likes and dislikes are constantly changing and I’ve come to learn that I’m a fickle little thing. I’m a growing organism and I’m going to develop and go through phases and some will be better than others.
17 – Ignorance is not bliss
There’s lots of close-minded people out there but that doesn’t mean that you can be too. Knowledge is power and enables you to make informed decisions. Take every opportunity to learn something new.
18 – Just say yes
Experience things, put yourself out there and let people get to know the real you. Step away from your computer for once and go and have fun in the real world. It has a lot to offer!
19 – It’s also okay to say no
Be your own person and make your own decisions. If you want to skip that party because you would rather not mix with that group of people that bring you down or you would rather save your cash for something else, that’s your decision and your right, stick with it!
20 – I’ll never be perfect
In fact, the word just annoys me now. My definition of perfect will almost certainly differ from yours and yours from the next person. So why put all of your energy into something that doesn’t really exist? I’ve come to accept that I’ll never be a Victoria Secret model, nor will I have good, kind thoughts 100% of the time! I can only strive to be the best version of myself and that’s more than good enough.
21 – It’s okay!
Apparently life is going to continue to be full of ups and downs and I’m just going to have to roll with it. Like my mum always says ‘it will all be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.’